Creating a workplace culture of safety, empathy, and practical assistance

WORKPLACE — Domestic violence does not stay at home. It follows victims to work through harassing phone calls, unexpected appearances, physical injuries, and the profound emotional toll that affects concentration, performance, and wellbeing. For the estimated one in three women and one in four men who experience domestic violence in their lifetimes, the workplace can be either a source of additional stress or a lifeline of support .

Creating a workplace where colleagues feel safe disclosing their situations and accessing support requires intentional effort from managers, HR professionals, and coworkers alike. Here are ten meaningful ways to support colleagues experiencing domestic violence.

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1. Learn to Recognize the Signs

Support begins with awareness. Domestic violence often manifests in workplace behaviors that may seem unrelated. Colleagues experiencing abuse might:

• Show decreased productivity or difficulty concentrating
• Have frequent absences, lateness, or need to leave early
• Receive repeated distressing phone calls, texts, or unexpected visits
• Display changes in appearance or wear clothing inconsistent with weather (potentially hiding injuries)
• Exhibit anxiety, depression, or uncharacteristic mood swings
• Become isolated from coworkers or avoid social gatherings
• Have limited access to money, transportation, or communication devices

Recognizing these signs requires paying attention without being intrusive. If you notice changes, the simple act of asking “Are you okay?” in a private, supportive setting can open doors .

2. Create Safe Spaces for Disclosure

Colleagues will only share their situations if they feel safe doing so. You can foster safety by:

• Ensuring private conversations cannot be overheard
• Using non-judgmental language and maintaining confidentiality
• Avoiding pressure to disclose more than they’re comfortable sharing
• Expressing belief and validation when someone does share
• Reassuring them that their job security is not threatened by disclosure

Statements like “I’ve noticed you seem stressed lately, and I’m here if you ever want to talk” communicate availability without pressure. When someone does disclose, the most powerful response is often simply: “Thank you for telling me. I believe you, and I’m here to support you however you need” .

3. Familiarize Yourself with Workplace Policies and Resources

Every employee should know what support their workplace offers. Take time to understand:

• Your organization’s domestic violence leave policy (many jurisdictions now mandate paid leave)
• Employee Assistance Program (EAP) services and how to access them
• Flexible work arrangement options
• Security protocols for building access and parking
• HR procedures for safety planning at work

When you know these resources, you can inform colleagues about options they may not know exist. A simple “Did you know our EAP offers free counseling sessions?” can be the nudge someone needs to seek help .

4. Offer Practical Workplace Accommodations

Small adjustments can make enormous differences in safety and ability to work. Practical supports include:

• Adjusting work hours to accommodate court appearances or moving to safe housing
• Changing seating locations so the colleague is not visible from windows or entrances
• Rearranging parking arrangements to ensure safer access
• Screening calls or managing communications with specific individuals
• Allowing remote work when needed
• Providing advance notice of schedule changes so safety plans can be adjusted

These accommodations require discretion and coordination with HR or management, but they can literally save lives .

5. Maintain Confidentiality Scrupulously

Confidentiality is not just kind—it can be a matter of life and death. If a colleague shares their situation with you:

• Do not discuss it with anyone unless they have explicitly authorized it
• Ask before documenting anything in writing
• Be careful how you handle messages or calls related to their situation
• Never disclose to mutual friends or other colleagues
• Understand mandatory reporting requirements in your jurisdiction, and be transparent with your colleague about any limits to confidentiality

Breaching confidentiality can expose victims to increased danger. When in doubt, ask the affected person how they want information handled .

6. Respond Supportively to Work Performance Issues

Domestic violence inevitably affects work performance. When a colleague misses deadlines, appears distracted, or struggles with tasks:

• Avoid immediate assumptions about laziness or incompetence
• Consider what might be happening beneath the surface
• Offer support before criticism
• Ask “Is there anything affecting your ability to focus that you’d like to share?”
• Be flexible with deadlines and expectations where possible

This does not mean abandoning all performance standards, but rather approaching performance conversations with curiosity about underlying causes and willingness to accommodate within reason .

7. Be Thoughtful About Workplace Communications and Events

Routine workplace activities can become dangerous for those experiencing domestic violence. Consider:

• Whether public recognition (newsletters, social media posts) might reveal someone’s location or schedule
• How event invitations are distributed (mass emails may be seen by abusers)
• Whether photographs from workplace events could inadvertently disclose information
• How to include colleagues in social events without pressuring them to explain absences
• Whether flexible attendance options exist for mandatory events

A simple “If this event format doesn’t work for you for any reason, let me know and we’ll find another way to include you” communicates awareness without requiring disclosure .

8. Connect Colleagues to Professional Support

While your support matters, you are not a domestic violence counselor. Know when and how to connect colleagues with professional help:

• Provide contact information for domestic violence hotlines and services
• Offer to help them research local resources
• Accompany them to HR or EAP if they want support
• Share information about legal advocacy services
• Help them identify safety planning resources

Keep a list of local and national resources handy, including:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
• Local shelters and advocacy organizations
• Legal aid services
• Counseling services specializing in trauma

In Australia, 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) provides national counseling and support .

9. Support Long-Term Recovery and Stability

Domestic violence does not end when the relationship ends. Support colleagues through:

• Ongoing legal proceedings that require time off
• Financial challenges resulting from economic abuse
• Housing transitions as they establish safety
• Child custody arrangements that affect schedules
• Trauma triggers that may affect workplace interactions
• Career development that may have been disrupted

Long-term support means staying present and available even after the immediate crisis passes. Recovery takes time, and colleagues who feel supported throughout are more likely to remain engaged and productive .

10. Advocate for Systemic Workplace Change

Individual support matters, but systemic change creates safety for everyone. Consider advocating for:

• Clear, well-communicated domestic violence leave policies
• Regular training for managers and HR on supporting affected employees
• Inclusion of domestic violence in workplace safety programs
• Flexible work arrangements as standard options, not exceptions
• Partnerships with local domestic violence service providers
• Workplace giving programs that support domestic violence services
• Culture change that reduces stigma around disclosure

When workplaces publicly commit to supporting employees experiencing domestic violence, they send a powerful message that victims are not alone and that seeking help will not jeopardize their livelihoods .

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The Bottom Line: Small Actions, Profound Impact

You do not need to be an expert to support a colleague experiencing domestic violence. What matters most is presence, belief, and willingness to help in practical ways. A single supportive colleague can be the difference between someone staying in danger and finding safety.

As one survivor noted: “The coworker who noticed I wasn’t myself, who asked if I was okay in a way that felt safe, who quietly made sure I had what I needed—that person quite literally saved my life. They didn’t solve everything, but they made sure I knew I wasn’t alone.”

In creating workplaces where colleagues feel seen, believed, and supported, we do more than help individuals—we build communities that refuse to tolerate violence and that stand with those who experience it.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, help is available. Reach out to a trusted colleague, HR representative, or professional support service. You are not alone.