A workplace guide to compassionate support during health challenges

WORKPLACE — Illness comes for all of us eventually—whether our own or someone we love. For the colleague facing a serious diagnosis, undergoing treatment, or caring for a sick family member, the workplace can feel like an additional burden or a lifeline of normalcy and support .

Serious illness disrupts every aspect of life: physical capacity, emotional stability, financial security, and sense of identity. At work, colleagues may worry about job security, struggle with reduced energy, feel isolated from team activities, or fear being seen as a burden .

Yet the workplace also offers unique opportunities for support. Supportive colleagues can provide practical help, emotional connection, and a sense of belonging that counteracts the isolation illness often brings .

Here are ten ways to support colleagues experiencing illness—whether their own or a family member’s.

1. Acknowledge the Situation Early and Honestly

When you learn a colleague is facing illness, the first and most important step is acknowledgment. Silence, even when motivated by fear of intrusion, can feel like abandonment.

How to acknowledge:

• Reach out as soon as you learn of their situation
• Keep it simple and sincere: “I heard about your diagnosis. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
• Express care without demanding details: “I’m thinking of you and here to support however I can.”
• If you don’t know details, that’s fine: “I heard you’ve been dealing with some health challenges. I just want you to know I care.”

What to avoid:

• Waiting so long that they wonder why no one said anything
• Pretending you haven’t noticed changes in their appearance or availability
• Overwhelming them with your own emotions or stories about others with similar illnesses
• Demanding information they may not want to share

Early acknowledgment communicates that they’re seen and valued, and that their struggle doesn’t have to be hidden .

2. Ask What They Need—And Mean It

Well-meaning colleagues often say, “Let me know if you need anything,” and ill colleagues rarely do. Specific, repeated offers are more likely to be accepted.

Better ways to ask:

• “I’m going to the grocery store after work—can I pick up a few things for you?”
• “Would it help if I covered the morning meeting for you next week?”
• “I’d like to bring lunch on Thursday. Are there foods you’re able to eat right now?”
• “What’s the hardest part of your day right now? Maybe I could help with that.”
• “I have some time this weekend—would you like company or help with anything around the house?”

What to keep in mind:

• Needs change as illness progresses—check in regularly
• Some days they’ll need practical help; other days just company
• Be specific about what you’re offering so they don’t have to invent tasks
• Follow through reliably if they do accept help

The goal is to reduce their burden of asking while providing meaningful support .

3. Respect Their Privacy and Boundaries

Illness involves intimate details—diagnoses, treatment side effects, emotional struggles—that colleagues may or may not want to share. Respecting boundaries builds trust.

How to respect boundaries:

• Let them control what they share and with whom
• Don’t pressure for medical details or updates
• If they share something, keep it confidential unless they’ve authorized sharing
• Ask “Is it okay if I let others know how you’re doing?” before updating the team
• Accept gracefully if they decline offers of help or prefer not to discuss their situation

Signs you may be overstepping:

• They seem uncomfortable when you ask about their health
• They give vague answers and change the subject
• They’ve asked others not to discuss their situation
• They’ve stopped sharing updates after previous conversations

Trust their lead. Your role is to follow, not direct .

4. Offer Practical Workplace Accommodations

Illness affects work capacity in countless ways: energy fluctuates, concentration wavers, medical appointments disrupt schedules, side effects interfere with functioning. Practical accommodations can make work possible when it might otherwise be impossible.

Workplace adjustments to advocate for:

• Flexible hours to accommodate treatment schedules and energy levels
• Remote work options when attending the office is difficult
• Reduced workload or temporary reassignment of demanding projects
• Permission to rest during the day if needed
• Extended deadlines for non-urgent work
• Private space for medication, rest, or emotional moments
• Understanding around memory lapses or concentration difficulties

How colleagues can help:

• Offer to cover tasks during treatment periods
• Check in about workload: “Would it help if I took over that report for you?”
• Advocate with managers for reasonable accommodations
• Don’t keep score about who’s doing what—illness is temporary

When workplaces accommodate illness, they retain valuable employees and demonstrate that people matter more than productivity .

5. Maintain Connection and Inclusion

Illness is isolating. Medical appointments replace social activities. Energy for connection dwindles. Colleagues, unsure what to say, may unintentionally withdraw. Maintaining connection—on the ill person’s terms—counters this isolation.

Ways to maintain connection:

• Continue including them in team communications and social invitations
• Send occasional check-ins that require no response: “Thinking of you today.”
• Visit if they’re open to it and it’s safe (ask first, respect if they decline)
• Remember that connection can take many forms—text, call, card, brief visit
• When they’re on leave, keep them loosely connected to workplace news if they want

During treatment absence:

• Send occasional updates about work (only if they want them)
• Share funny stories or positive team news
• Let them know they’re missed
• Don’t pressure them to respond or engage

For caregivers supporting ill family members, similar principles apply—they need connection too, though their situation differs .

6. Be Patient with Fluctuations and Limitations

Illness rarely follows a predictable path. Good days and bad days alternate. Energy that seems fine one day may disappear the next. Patience through these fluctuations is essential.

What patience looks like:

• Not keeping score: “But you seemed fine yesterday.”
• Understanding that visible improvement doesn’t mean full recovery
• Accepting that they may need to cancel plans or step away suddenly
• Trusting they’re doing their best with what they have each day
• Avoiding comments about their appearance or energy level

What to avoid:

• Impatience with cancelled commitments or reduced availability
• Assumptions about what they “should” be able to do based on appearance
• Comparisons to others with similar conditions
• Pressure to “push through” when they need rest

Patience communicates that you value them as a person, not just for their productivity .

7. Support Them Through Different Phases

Illness has phases—diagnosis, treatment, recovery, possible recurrence, and for some, end of life. Each phase brings different needs and challenges.

Diagnosis phase:

• Shock and information overwhelm are common
• Practical help with understanding options and navigating systems may help
• Emotional support without pressure for decisions

Treatment phase:

• Energy is often lowest; side effects may be challenging
• Practical help with daily tasks matters most
• Flexible work accommodations are essential
• Visits may be welcome or overwhelming—ask

Recovery/remission phase:

• “Getting back to normal” is harder than expected
• Fatigue may persist; cognitive effects may linger
• Fear of recurrence is common
• Support adjusting to post-treatment life helps

Caregiver phase (if supporting ill family member):

• Their own health may suffer from stress and neglect
• Practical help with caregiving tasks can relieve burden
• Emotional support and respite matter enormously
• Workplace flexibility is equally essential

Advanced illness phase:

• Priorities may shift toward comfort and connection
• Practical help with legacy projects, financial matters
• Respect for their choices about work involvement
• Compassionate presence without expectation

Understanding where someone is in their illness journey helps you offer appropriate support .

8. Remember the Caregivers

When a colleague is caring for an ill family member—child, partner, parent—they face their own challenges. Caregivers often neglect their own needs while supporting someone they love.

How caregivers may struggle:

• Exhaustion from physical and emotional demands
• Financial stress from medical costs or reduced work
• Isolation as social life contracts
• Anxiety about their loved one’s condition
• Guilt about any attention to their own needs
• Work disruptions from appointments and emergencies

How to support caregivers:

• Acknowledge their situation: “I know caring for your mother must be so demanding. How are you holding up?”
• Offer practical help that gives them respite: “I could sit with your father for a few hours Saturday so you can have a break.”
• Be understanding about work disruptions
• Include them in social invitations without pressure
• Remember that their loved one’s illness affects them too

Caregivers need support as much as those who are ill—sometimes more, because no one thinks to offer it .

9. Respect Their Identity Beyond Illness

Illness can consume identity. Colleagues can help by remembering and honoring the whole person—not just their patient status.

How to honor whole identity:

• Talk about non-illness topics: work, hobbies, family, current events
• Share normal workplace conversations and humor
• Ask about their interests, not just their health
• Remember their professional contributions and expertise
• Include them in decisions and projects (appropriately)

What to avoid:

• Every conversation starting with “How are you feeling?”
• Treating them as fragile or incapable
• Defining them by their diagnosis
• Excluding them from professional opportunities

People with illness are still people—with personalities, expertise, humor, and dreams. Remembering this preserves dignity .

10. Advocate for Systemic Workplace Support

Individual support matters, but systemic change creates environments where ill employees and caregivers can thrive.

Workplace policies that help:

• Adequate sick leave that doesn’t force choice between health and income
• Family and medical leave for those caring for ill relatives
• Flexible work arrangements as standard options
• Return-to-work programs after extended medical leave
• EAP services with adequate counseling sessions
• Disability accommodations that are easy to access
• Health insurance that provides meaningful coverage

Advocacy actions:

• Learn your workplace’s policies and suggest improvements
• Support colleagues in requesting accommodations
• Challenge cultures that equate presenteeism with commitment
• Encourage leadership to model work-life balance
• Share resources and information with affected colleagues

When workplaces support illness well, everyone benefits—because illness touches everyone eventually .

What to Avoid: Well-Intentioned but Harmful Responses

Avoid minimizing: “At least it’s treatable.” (Dismisses their very real fear and struggle.)

Avoid toxic positivity: “Stay positive! Mind over matter!” (Can feel like pressure to perform cheerfulness.)

Avoid comparing: “My aunt had that and she was fine.” (Every case is different; comparisons help no one.)

Avoid advice-giving: “Have you tried this diet/doctor/supplement?” (Unless you’re their doctor, keep advice to yourself.)

Avoid disappearing: Pulling away because you’re uncomfortable. (They notice, and it hurts.)

Avoid making it about you: “I know exactly how you feel.” (You don’t—even similar illnesses are experienced differently.)

Avoid pity: Pity diminishes; compassion connects. Treat them with the same respect you always have.

Supporting Yourself While Supporting Others

Supporting an ill colleague takes emotional energy. You may confront your own fears about illness, mortality, and loss. You may feel helpless or overwhelmed. These feelings are normal.

Take care of yourself by:

• Setting boundaries that protect your own wellbeing
• Seeking support from others when you need it
• Accepting that you can’t fix everything
• Taking breaks when you need them
• Remembering that your colleague has many supporters; you don’t have to be everything

The Gift of Showing Up

Supporting a colleague through illness is not about having the right words or solving their problems. It’s about showing up—consistently, respectfully, and humanly—and staying present through whatever comes.

As one cancer survivor reflected: “The colleagues who helped most weren’t the ones who said profound things or brought elaborate meals. They were the ones who kept treating me like me—who asked about my treatment but also about my kids, who included me in lunch invitations even when I couldn’t come, who said ‘I’m glad you’re here’ on the days I made it in. They couldn’t cure me, but they made sure I wasn’t alone.”

In showing up for ill colleagues, we do more than support individuals—we build workplaces where humanity comes first, where health challenges are met with compassion rather than silence, and where no one has to face illness alone.

If you’re supporting an ill colleague, remember to care for yourself too. Supporting others through illness takes emotional energy. Reach out to your own supports, set boundaries where needed, and seek guidance when you’re unsure. You matter too.