A workplace guide to compassionate presence during life’s most difficult moments

WORKPLACE — Grief is universal, yet it remains one of the most uncomfortable topics in workplace settings. When a colleague loses a loved one, we want to help but often don’t know how. We fear saying the wrong thing, intruding on private pain, or making things worse. So we say nothing—and our silence, however well-intentioned, can feel like abandonment .

The workplace presents unique challenges for grievers. While home may offer space to fall apart, work demands professionalism, productivity, and emotional regulation. Colleagues who were friends may suddenly seem distant. The expectation to “get back to normal” can feel impossible when normal has been permanently altered .

Yet the workplace also offers unique opportunities for support. For many grievers, work provides structure, purpose, and social connection when everything else feels chaotic. Supportive colleagues can make the difference between isolation and feeling held by community during life’s hardest moments .

Here are ten ways to support colleagues experiencing death and grief—from the immediate aftermath through the long journey of mourning.

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1. Acknowledge the Loss Immediately and Sincerely

The worst thing you can do is say nothing. Silence, even when motivated by fear of intrusion, communicates that their loss doesn’t matter or that you don’t care.

What to do:

• Reach out as soon as you learn of the loss
• A simple acknowledgment is enough: “I was so sorry to hear about your mother. I’m thinking of you.”
• Send a card, email, or message—written words can be reread when spoken ones are forgotten
• If you didn’t know the person who died, it’s still appropriate to acknowledge their colleague’s loss

What to say:

• “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
• “I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m here for you.”
• “Your [father/sister/friend] meant so much to you—I know this is devastating.”
• No need for lengthy statements. Sincerity matters more than eloquence.

What to avoid:

• Waiting until they return to work to acknowledge the loss (they’ll wonder why no one reached out)
• Pretending nothing happened
• Overly elaborate expressions that draw attention to your discomfort rather than their pain

Acknowledgment is the foundation upon which all other support is built .

2. Show Up, Even When You Feel Helpless

Many people avoid grievers because they don’t know what to say or do. But presence matters more than words. You don’t need to have the perfect response—you just need to show up.

Ways to show up:

• Attend the funeral or memorial service if appropriate and welcomed
• Send flowers or a donation to a cause meaningful to the deceased or griever
• Bring food to their home (check dietary preferences first)
• Offer to help with practical tasks: walking the dog, picking up children, grocery shopping
• Sit with them in silence if they don’t want to talk
• Send periodic texts that require no response: “Thinking of you today.”

Remember:

• Grief is isolating. Your presence—even clumsy, imperfect presence—reminds them they’re not alone.
• Many people disappear after the funeral. Showing up in the weeks and months after matters even more.
• Small, consistent gestures accumulate into a sense of being held by community .

3. Support Practical Workplace Accommodations

Grief affects concentration, energy, memory, and emotional regulation—all essential for most jobs. Practical workplace accommodations can make the difference between barely surviving and having space to mourn.

Workplace adjustments to advocate for:

• Flexible hours to attend appointments, manage estate matters, or simply rest when grief is overwhelming
• Reduced workload or temporary reassignment of demanding projects
• Permission to work from home on particularly difficult days
• Understanding around memory lapses, difficulty concentrating, or emotional moments
• Extended deadlines where possible
• Privacy when they need to step away

How colleagues can help:

• Offer to cover meetings or tasks without being asked
• Check in about workload: “Would it help if I took over the Johnson project for a few weeks?”
• Don’t keep score about who’s doing what—grief is not a permanent state
• Advocate with managers for reasonable accommodations

The goal is not to coddle but to recognize that grief temporarily disables in ways that require accommodation, just as physical illness would .

4. Listen Without Trying to Fix

Grief cannot be fixed. It must be witnessed. Your role is not to solve their pain but to sit beside them in it.

How to listen:

• Ask open questions: “Would you like to talk about [the person who died]?”
• Follow their lead—some days they’ll want to share memories, other days they’ll want distraction
• Allow silence—grievers often need space to gather themselves
• Resist the urge to offer solutions or silver linings
• Accept expressions of anger, despair, or numbness without trying to talk them out of these feelings

What not to say:

• “They’re in a better place.” (You don’t know what the griever believes.)
• “At least they lived a long life.” (Long doesn’t mean long enough.)
• “Everything happens for a reason.” (This can feel cruel to someone drowning in senseless loss.)
• “You’re so strong.” (This can pressure them to hide their struggles.)
• “Let me know if you need anything.” (Vague offers rarely get taken up—specific offers help more.)

Instead, say: “I’m here to listen however you need. Whatever you’re feeling is okay.”

5. Remember and Acknowledge Significant Dates

Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. It resurfaces on anniversaries, holidays, and ordinary days that suddenly become extraordinary in their absence.

Dates to remember:

• The anniversary of the death
• The deceased’s birthday
• Holidays (first ones without the person are especially hard)
• The griever’s own birthday or other personal milestones
• The anniversary of the funeral or memorial

How to acknowledge:

• Mark your calendar and reach out on or before these dates
• Send a simple message: “Thinking of you today. Remembering your father with you.”
• Offer specific support: “Would you like company on that day, or would you prefer space?”
• Don’t assume they want to be distracted—some want to sit with their grief
• Ask if they’d like to share memories or if they’d rather not talk about it

These small recognitions communicate that you remember what they carry, even when the world has moved on .

6. Respect Individual and Cultural Differences in Grieving

Grief is not one-size-fits-all. Cultural background, religious beliefs, family traditions, and individual personality all shape how people mourn. Support means honoring their way, not imposing yours.

Cultural considerations:

• Different cultures have different mourning periods, rituals, and expectations
• Some cultures emphasize public expression of grief; others value private mourning
• Religious beliefs shape views on death, the afterlife, and appropriate mourning practices
• Funeral and memorial customs vary widely—ask about what to expect if you’re attending

Individual differences:

• Some people want to talk about their loss; others need distraction
• Grief duration varies—there’s no “normal” timeline
• Some return to work quickly; others need extended leave
• Grief may resurface unexpectedly, even years later

How to respect differences:

• Ask: “What would be most helpful to you right now?”
• Follow their lead rather than imposing your assumptions
• Don’t judge their grief expression against your expectations
• Educate yourself about cultural practices if you’re supporting someone from a different background
• When in doubt, ask respectfully: “I want to support you in ways that honor your traditions. Can you help me understand what would be appropriate?”

Support that respects individual and cultural differences is support that truly helps .

7. Maintain Connection Over the Long Term

The first weeks after a death bring an outpouring of support. Cards arrive. Meals appear. Calls come. Then gradually, life returns to normal for everyone except the griever, whose normal has been permanently altered.

Long-term support matters:

• Check in months after the death, not just immediately
• Continue mentioning the person who died—grievers often feel others have forgotten
• Acknowledge that grief changes but doesn’t end
• Be patient with ongoing struggles—grief can affect functioning for years
• Don’t expect them to “be over it” by any particular timeline

Ways to stay connected:

• Periodic messages: “Thinking of you and your mom today.”
• Share memories when they occur to you: “I just heard this song and remembered how much your brother loved it.”
• Include them in social invitations while understanding they may decline
• Remember that grief can be isolating—your ongoing presence counters that

Long-term support communicates that their loss—and they themselves—still matter .

8. Be Patient with Grief’s Unpredictability

Grief is not linear. It doesn’t progress neatly through stages toward resolution. It surges and recedes unpredictably, triggered by songs, smells, dates, or nothing at all.

What unpredictability looks like:

• Good days and terrible days with no apparent pattern
• Sudden tears in meetings or over seemingly trivial things
• Difficulty concentrating even on routine tasks
• Anger or irritability that seems disproportionate
• Withdrawal from social interactions they previously enjoyed
• Moments of joy followed by crashes of guilt about feeling joy

How to respond:

• Don’t take emotional reactions personally
• Offer grace without comment: “Take whatever time you need.”
• Create space for them to step away when overwhelmed
• Don’t track their progress or expect steady improvement
• Trust that they’re doing the best they can with what they have

Patience in the face of grief’s unpredictability is a profound form of support .

9. Offer Specific, Practical Help

“Well-meaning people often say, ‘Let me know if you need anything,’ and grieving people often don’t know what they need or can’t bring themselves to ask,” notes grief expert Megan Devine. Specific offers are easier to accept.

Specific offers that help:

• “I’m going to the grocery store—can I pick up a few things for you?”
• “I can cover your shift on Tuesday if you need the day off.”
• “I’d like to bring dinner on Thursday. Are there foods you especially like or need to avoid?”
• “I have time to review that report for you if you’re struggling to focus.”
• “Would it help if I drove you to the cemetery on the anniversary?”

Practical workplace help:

• Offer to take notes in meetings they need to attend
• Help prioritize their workload when everything feels overwhelming
• Remind them of deadlines they might forget
• Protect them from unnecessary workplace demands or gossip
• Advocate with management for continued accommodations

Specific offers remove the burden of asking while providing tangible support .

10. Advocate for Grief-Inclusive Workplace Policies

Individual support matters, but systemic change creates environments where grievers can mourn without fear of professional consequences.

Workplace policies that support grievers:

• Bereavement leave that acknowledges grief extends beyond immediate funeral arrangements
• Flexible return-to-work options (phased returns, temporary reduced hours)
• Clear protocols for notifying colleagues of a death and appropriate responses
• Training for managers on supporting grieving employees
• Access to EAP counseling beyond the standard few sessions
• Accommodation policies that include grief-related needs
• Culture that doesn’t penalize emotional expression or reduced productivity

Advocacy actions:

• Ask HR about bereavement policies and suggest improvements
• Encourage grief literacy training for managers and teams
• Normalize conversations about loss and mourning
• Support colleagues publicly when they need accommodations
• Challenge workplace cultures that demand stoicism or rapid “getting back to normal”

When workplaces take grief seriously, everyone benefits—because everyone eventually grieves .

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What Not to Do: Common Mistakes to Avoid

Don’t avoid them. Your discomfort is not a reason to disappear from someone’s life when they need community most.

Don’t compare griefs. “I know exactly how you feel” isn’t true—even similar losses are experienced differently.

Don’t rush them. “You should be feeling better by now” dismisses their unique timeline.

Don’t take over. Making decisions for them or assuming you know what they need undermines their agency.

Don’t expect them to be the same person. Grief changes people profoundly. The colleague who returns may be different from the one who left.

Don’t stop mentioning the person who died. Grievers often feel others have forgotten. Saying their loved one’s name is a gift.

Understanding Your Role

Supporting a grieving colleague involves holding two truths:

You can help. Your presence, practical assistance, and ongoing acknowledgment can buffer the isolation of grief and provide genuine comfort.

You cannot fix it. Grief is not a problem to solve but a reality to be endured. Your role is not to take away the pain but to sit beside them in it.

The Gift of Showing Up

Ultimately, supporting a grieving colleague comes down to one thing: showing up. Showing up with your imperfect words, your awkward silences, your specific offers of help, and your ongoing presence long after others have moved on.

As one grieving person reflected: “The colleagues who helped most weren’t the ones who said the perfect thing. They were the ones who kept showing up—bringing coffee, sitting with me when I cried, mentioning my daughter’s name when everyone else had stopped. They couldn’t fix my broken heart, but they made sure I wasn’t alone with it.”

In showing up for grieving colleagues, we do more than support individuals—we build workplaces where humanity comes first, where life’s hardest moments are met with compassion rather than silence, and where no one has to mourn alone.

If you’re supporting a grieving colleague, remember to care for yourself too. Witnessing others’ pain takes emotional energy. Reach out to your own supports, set boundaries where needed, and seek guidance when you’re unsure. Supporting others doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself.

Refresher training brings together multilingual educators to promote respectful relationships and raise awareness using trusted, in-language information

MELBOURNE, Australia — The Ethnic Communities’ Council of Victoria (ECCV) has convened a vital refresher training session for Bicultural Educators working to prevent elder abuse across Victoria’s culturally diverse communities. The session, held last week as part of ECCV’s Elder Abuse Prevention program, equipped multilingual community educators with updated knowledge and resources to continue their essential work protecting older community members .

Seven Bicultural Educators attended the training, representing a remarkable cross-section of Victoria’s linguistic diversity. Languages covered by the attending educators included Dari, Hazaragi, Urdu, Serbian, Persian, Turkish, Spanish, Vietnamese, Greek, and Italian—reflecting the program’s reach into communities spanning Eastern Europe, the Middle East, Asia, and Latin America .

A Trusted Approach to a Sensitive Issue

The Elder Abuse Prevention program supports community members who speak English and another language to raise awareness about elder abuse and promote respectful relationships in their communities. The program’s effectiveness rests on a simple but powerful insight: information about sensitive family matters is most effectively communicated by trusted voices within communities, using languages that older people understand fully .

Elder abuse—which can take forms including financial exploitation, psychological manipulation, physical harm, and neglect—often goes unreported in culturally diverse communities due to language barriers, isolation, cultural norms around family privacy, and lack of awareness about available support services. Bicultural Educators bridge these gaps by bringing information directly to communities in ways that respect cultural contexts while clearly communicating rights and resources.

Expert Facilitation and Guest Presentations

The refresher session was delivered by Hayat Doughan from ECCV and Gary Ferguson from Seniors Rights Victoria, combining ECCV’s community expertise with Seniors Rights Victoria’s specialized knowledge of legal and advocacy supports for older people experiencing abuse .

A guest presentation from ECCV’s Nikolaus Rittinghausen addressed the new aged care reforms, ensuring that Bicultural Educators can help older community members navigate the evolving aged care landscape. As Australia’s aged care system undergoes significant changes, access to clear, in-language information about rights, services, and how to access support becomes increasingly critical for older people from migrant and refugee backgrounds .

Government Partnership

The session also included attendance from staff at the Victorian Department of Families, Fairness & Housing, demonstrating the Victorian government’s commitment to supporting community-led approaches to elder abuse prevention. This partnership between government and community organizations recognizes that effective responses to elder abuse must be co-designed with the communities most affected .

The Department’s involvement also ensures that Bicultural Educators’ on-the-ground insights about challenges facing diverse communities can inform policy development and service design at the state level.

Building Capacity Across Communities

ECCV continues to support Bicultural Educators to work with seniors’ organizations and community groups across Victoria, helping older people and families stay informed and safe. The refresher training represents an ongoing investment in the skills and knowledge of these essential community connectors .

For the educators themselves, the training provides opportunity to share experiences with peers working in different communities, learn about new developments in policy and practice, and refresh their understanding of elder abuse dynamics and intervention strategies. This peer learning dimension strengthens the network of educators across Victoria, creating a community of practice that supports individual educators in their demanding roles.

Addressing a Growing Concern

Elder abuse is a significant and growing concern in Australia, with research suggesting that between 2% and 14% of older people experience abuse in any given year. For older people from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds, additional barriers—including language, migration status, financial dependence on family members, and cultural expectations about family care—can increase vulnerability and complicate help-seeking .

The Bicultural Educator model directly addresses these barriers by meeting communities where they are, using languages they understand, and working through trusted relationships. Rather than expecting older people to navigate complex service systems designed for English-speaking Australians, the program brings information and support directly into community spaces.

Community-Led Prevention

The emphasis on promoting “respectful relationships” reflects an understanding that preventing elder abuse requires more than crisis intervention—it requires shifting community norms and expectations about how older people should be treated. Bicultural Educators are positioned to influence these norms from within, drawing on cultural values of respect for elders while challenging practices that cross into abuse .

This preventive approach aligns with public health models that emphasize primary prevention—stopping problems before they start—as the most effective long-term strategy for addressing complex social issues. By building awareness of what constitutes abuse, rights of older people, and available supports, Bicultural Educators help communities develop the knowledge and language to address elder abuse before it escalates.

Languages of Reach

The ten languages represented at the refresher training illustrate the program’s remarkable reach:

• Dari and Hazaragi, spoken by Afghanistan’s diverse communities
• Urdu, widely spoken in Pakistan and parts of India
• Serbian, serving communities from the former Yugoslavia
• Persian, connecting with Iranian communities
• Turkish, serving Victoria’s long-established Turkish community
• Spanish, reaching communities from Latin America and Spain
• Vietnamese, supporting one of Victoria’s largest migrant communities
• Greek, serving generations of Greek Australians
• Italian, connecting with Italian-Australian communities across generations

Each language represents not merely a mode of communication but a gateway to communities whose older members might otherwise remain isolated from information about their rights and available supports.

Continuing Commitment

ECCV’s ongoing support for Bicultural Educators reflects a long-term commitment to elder abuse prevention that extends well beyond individual training sessions. The organization works continuously to connect educators with seniors’ organizations and community groups, ensuring that their expertise reaches those who need it most .

The program also contributes to broader advocacy efforts, with insights from Bicultural Educators informing ECCV’s policy work on aged care, elder abuse prevention, and the needs of older people from migrant and refugee backgrounds. This two-way flow—from communities to policymakers via educators—ensures that systemic advocacy remains grounded in lived experience.

How to Learn More

ECCV encourages community members, seniors’ organizations, and anyone concerned about elder abuse to learn more about the organization’s work in this critical area. Detailed information about the Elder Abuse Prevention program, including resources and contact information, is available through ECCV’s website .

For Bicultural Educators interested in participating in the program, or for community organizations seeking to connect with educators serving specific language communities, ECCV welcomes inquiries about how the program can support diverse communities across Victoria.

The refresher training session concluded with renewed commitment from all participants to continue this essential work—ensuring that older Victorians from all backgrounds can age with dignity, respect, and safety, supported by communities that understand and value them.

For forty years, the organization has walked alongside women, children, and communities with courage, care, and deep cultural understanding

MELBOURNE, Australia — After four decades of dedicated service supporting migrant and refugee women experiencing family violence, intouch has unveiled a refreshed brand identity that signals both continuity and evolution. The organization, which has grown exponentially in both reach and complexity since its founding, announced the transformation as a clearer expression of who they have always been—and who they are becoming .

“Today, we are proud to share our evolved brand identity,” the organization announced. “This evolution is not a departure from who we are, but a clearer expression of it. It reflects our growth, our leadership, and our commitment to ensuring the way we communicate truly aligns with the strength, dignity and purpose that define our work” .

Four Decades of Culturally Safe Support

For forty years, intouch has walked alongside women, children and communities with courage, care and deep cultural understanding. What began as a grassroots response to the specific needs of migrant and refugee women experiencing family violence has grown into a nationally recognized leader in culturally safe family violence support .

The organization’s longevity speaks to both the enduring need for its services and the effectiveness of its approach. By centering cultural understanding as essential to effective support, intouch has developed expertise that generic family violence services cannot replicate. Their work acknowledges that safety cannot be separated from cultural identity—that true support must honor who women are, where they come from, and what they need.

Growth and Responsibility

As the organization’s work has grown in reach and complexity, so too has its responsibility—to the people they support, the partners who trust them, and the future they are helping to shape. This evolution reflects a mature organization stepping fully into its leadership role within the family violence sector .

The refreshed identity positions intouch to meet contemporary challenges with renewed clarity and purpose. Family violence does not stand still, and neither can the organizations dedicated to ending it. By evolving how they communicate and present themselves, intouch ensures they remain relevant and accessible to those who need them most.

A Clearer Expression of Purpose

The evolution represents not a departure from the organization’s core identity but a more precise articulation of it. Every element of the refreshed brand has been designed to communicate the strength, dignity and purpose that have always characterized intouch’s work .

This clarity extends to the organization’s fundamental purpose, now stated with renewed conviction:

“To champion culturally safe family violence support for anyone who needs it, anywhere they need it.”

This purpose statement encompasses both the “what” and the “how” of intouch’s work—the commitment to supporting all who need help, regardless of location or circumstance, and the distinctive approach of ensuring that support is culturally safe. For migrant and refugee women, cultural safety is not a luxury or an add-on; it is essential to effective intervention and genuine healing.

Strengthening Advocacy and Connection

The refreshed identity strengthens how intouch shows up, advocates, and connects with the communities they serve. In a crowded field of service providers, clear communication about what makes intouch distinctive helps ensure that those who need their specific expertise can find them .

For partners and funders, the evolved identity signals an organization confident in its leadership role and clear about its contribution to the broader effort to end family violence. For the women and children intouch supports, it promises continuity of the culturally safe care they have always received, delivered with renewed clarity and purpose.

Honoring Those Who Shaped the Organization

The evolution honours the community, staff, partners and supporters who have shaped intouch over four decades. No organization reaches forty years without the dedication of countless individuals whose contributions, large and small, built the foundation upon which today’s work stands .

By evolving thoughtfully—building on what has always been true while adapting to meet present and future needs—intouch ensures that the legacy of those who came before continues to inform and inspire the work going forward. The refreshed identity carries forward the values and commitments that have always defined the organization, expressed for a new era.

Equipped for the Future

The evolution ensures intouch is equipped to continue this vital work with clarity, courage and care into the future. The challenges ahead—changing demographics, evolving forms of family violence, shifting policy landscapes—require an organization that is both grounded in experience and adaptable to change .

With refreshed tools for communication and advocacy, intouch stands ready to meet these challenges. The clarity of purpose that emerges from this process will guide decision-making and priority-setting for years to come, ensuring that resources are directed where they can have the greatest impact.

The Work Continues

“This evolution honours the community, staff, partners and supporters who have shaped intouch over four decades,” the organization stated. “It ensures we are equipped to continue this vital work with clarity, courage and care into the future” .

The announcement carries a message of both continuity and recommitment:

“The work continues. The commitment deepens. The future is beyond violence.”

This framing positions the brand evolution not as an endpoint but as a milestone on an ongoing journey. The work of ending family violence is generational; forty years represents a significant chapter, but the story continues. With deepened commitment and renewed clarity, intouch presses forward toward the future they are helping to create.

A Vision of What’s Possible

The tagline “A future beyond violence” encapsulates both hope and determination. It acknowledges that such a future is possible—that family violence is not inevitable but can be prevented and ultimately ended. At the same time, it recognizes that achieving this future requires sustained effort, cultural competence, and unwavering commitment .

For the migrant and refugee women intouch supports, a future beyond violence is not abstract—it is the concrete goal of every intervention, every safety plan, every supportive conversation. The organization’s evolved identity keeps this vision front and center, reminding all who encounter it of what they are working toward.

Looking Forward

As intouch enters its fifth decade with refreshed identity and renewed purpose, the organization looks forward to continuing its essential work. The challenges remain significant: family violence affects migrant and refugee women at disproportionate rates, and barriers to support—language, culture, immigration status, isolation—can seem insurmountable.

But intouch has forty years of evidence that these barriers can be overcome with the right approach. Culturally safe support works. Women and children can and do find safety and healing. And with each life transformed, the vision of a future beyond violence comes closer to reality.

The evolved brand identity announced today serves as both celebration of what has been achieved and commitment to what remains to be done. For intouch, for the communities they serve, and for all who share their vision, the work continues—toward a future beyond violence.